Here you will find answers to questions as well as stories sent to us by readers.


We’d love to hear how you’ve used  the tools from the How To Talk approach. It is our hope to create a community of adults who inspire and support each other by sharing creative ways to solve problems, resolve conflicts, engage cooperation, and strengthen relationships with children.

If you have a spare moment and you are inspired to write to us, we’d appreciate stories in any form, including sentence fragments from the sleep deprived, rhymes from the whimsical, or video recordings from the technically advanced. We’ve also created the outline below to make it easier, if you find that kind of thing helpful!

    You can also write to us at

    To send your own question, visit the Contact Us page.

    *Acknowledging my 3 y.o.'s feelings is not helping. Help!

    Dear Joanna and Julie, I’ve tried acknowledging my daughter’s feelings for over a year now (she’s three) and it consistently doesn’t work. Just today our dialogue went like this: (She fell and hurt her knee) Daughter: (crying) Momma! Me: I saw that you fell. I bet that hurt. Daughter: (crying) NO!...
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    *How I Sped Up the Nighttime Routine with My 2-1/2 Year Old

    Dear Joanna and Julie, The bedtime routine with Simon, age two-and-a-half, has been dragging out longer and longer. I’m short on patience by that time of the night. I’m writing to share my success with being playful. I made a getting-ready-for-bed game, complete with laminated pieces. I had my dad do the...
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    *A Clean Resolution for Resistant Bathers

    This story comes to us from a reader in India:     The Flood Evacuation Story My boys, aged 7 & 5, had just returned sweaty and tired from outdoor play and needed to shower. A couple of gentle reminders didn’t help.   Just then , a quirky idea popped into my head and I announced...
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    *Too Many Tantrums

    Dear Joanna and Julie, I have just finished reading your book and I think it’s an amazing book! I have a 5-and-a-half-year-old son, “Kevin,” as well as a 2-year-old.  “Kevin,” has always been a difficult child for me. He always has temper tantrums  (like every hour) over tiny matters. He  says he...
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    *Doesn't punishment prepare kids for real life?

    Dear Joanna and Julie, Firstly, I really love your new book on how to talk to little kids. I think it’s an amazing book and very easy to read with great real life examples. Secondly, your book mentions not to punish kids for their misbehavior, rather teach them how to fix their...
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