Here you will find answers to questions as well as stories sent to us by readers.


We’d love to hear how you’ve used  the tools from the How To Talk approach. It is our hope to create a community of adults who inspire and support each other by sharing creative ways to solve problems, resolve conflicts, engage cooperation, and strengthen relationships with children.

If you have a spare moment and you are inspired to write to us, we’d appreciate stories in any form, including sentence fragments from the sleep deprived, rhymes from the whimsical, or video recordings from the technically advanced. We’ve also created the outline below to make it easier, if you find that kind of thing helpful!

    You can also write to us at

    To send your own question, visit the Contact Us page.

    *Overtired Child

    Dear Joanna and Julie, My biggest source of frustration with my child is when he is overtired. On the way to the melt-down, he can’t pay attention to rules or parental suggestions, he bounces off the walls, and moves his attention from thing to thing rapidly. It is hard to watch...
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    *Too Much Hugging

    Dear Joanna and Julie, Our almost 6-year-old is overly physically affectionate with his friends. He can’t seem to restrain himself from kissing and hugging (way too long and too hard), and won’t stop even when the other kid complains. We’ve had many discussions with him about the importance of respecting other people’s bodies...
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    *When Choices Don't Work

    Dear Joanna and Julie, My preschooler can be very stubborn. When he doesn’t get his way he will often react with a tantrum. Just this morning after finishing his cereal, it was time to drive to school. But he wanted more cereal. Unfortunately there was no time. I offered him a...
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    *Clingy Kid

    Dear Joanna and Julie, My son is 3 years old and he gets really nervous and sad when I leave for work. Once a week he stays with his grandma and it’s okay (not always but nearly). However when he stays with his nanny (three days a week) he is “traumatized”. He...
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    *Kids with Kittens

    Dear Julie and Joanna, My six-year-old son loves our kitten. He plays with the kitten appropriately 50% of the time, the other 50% he is playing too rough and carrying the cat around against its will.  I don’t think he means it harm, he just loves it so.  I am starting to...
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